I came downstairs to work. I just can’t seem to bring myself to. I have been wrapped up in life lately. Or the losing of life. I’m not sure if that is the clearest way to define it. I have been impacted the last couple of months by a movement, a tide of change if you will. The passing from one to another. Fall has been a slow dying. From golden colors to a barren, cold, miserable existence. Dan’s aunt Ruby passed late this summer. She was a good friend and really a kind human being. I realize it sounds odd to say you have an almost 80 year old friend but she was. We shared many similar life experiences and had a comfort level I don’t find with many people. We would sometimes just sit and enjoy the silence together. Other times we would talk about her son or husband that had passed or just laugh at old pictures.  She also took Dan and basically raised him as her own. She was an amazing person. Then I went to a birthday party for my Grandfather. He was 90. I was acutely aware that many of the people in the room may not be with us much longer. It is palpable and poignant. I watched my grandmother wipe his tears with a gentleness that I have no words for. He was aware too. We all were. Both of them are part of the greatest generation but beyond that, they are amazing people. I don’t recall ever seeing them truly angry. They certainly never cursed and were a shelter and help to everyone they knew. It was always an open door and everyone was welcome. They raised my cousin and me too if the truth be known.

A woman I work with is sick with lymphoma. You surely wouldn’t think someone I never met would impact me so much. She and I have a quite a bit in common and are email buddies. I can’t imagine working without her. Not hearing the sarcastic tone when really someone needs to have one. Not getting encouraging words when it is obvious I have had a bad day.

Now, Tori. My aunt. My beautiful, amazing, strong, kind, and loving aunt. She is the reason I want to be a nurse. Her life has been one of service. She is my mom’s youngest sister.  Life has not been good for her in some ways. In her early twenties she married a man that tried to kill her. He stabbed her multiple times and left her down on the river in Dayton to die. She didn’t though. She got better, got divorced, and went to nursing school. She also learned Karate (Shotokan) Boy did she learn. She is now a black belt. She wound up working many years at the St. E hospital in Dayton. 3rd shift weekends in the ER. She got tired of things and decided to volunteer. So off she went to Senagal, Africa. She basically was a solitary health care provider to remote villages. She was gone for a year. Not to be done globe trotting, she soon did a stint in Japan as well. She went to train for her Karate. Upon returning, she donated some of her free time to teach English to Japanese immigrants.

She soon found love and got married to WenLi. Together they had a beautiful daughter, they named Lilly. However, it was not to be. Lilly died a few hours after birth from a Strep infection. Heartbroken they decided to make a change. I remember, I found out I was pregnant with Zachary the same day Lilly died. How awful. Then she did get pregnant again. This time with Olivia. Olivia was born with Downs but has been a daily blessing in many ways. Soon after they also adopted a child from WenLi’s homeland of China. XiaXie. So now they have two beautiful daughters. Tori has run a Senior Citizens clinic for several years in Connecticut. She also has studied massage therapy to provide her patients better care. That was before the loss of the use of her arm a few months ago. They thought perhaps it was frozen shoulder. They called today to tell me she has ALS. I am shocked. Angry, There just aren’t words. I want to scream why? But I know better. There is never an answer. It just is. Any prayers for them and their families would be greatly appreciated.

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